your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Randomize
