so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
