Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize