So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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