This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
