why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
