Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
