Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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