so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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