I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize