Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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