We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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