What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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