his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Panties = found
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize