i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
