we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
