he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
