It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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