So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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