How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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