So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
