Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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