She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
