I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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