Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize