It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
