she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish you could order shots online.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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