once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
