My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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