Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
