Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
