Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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