talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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