I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
