If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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