How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
