Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
