dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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