What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
