since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
