no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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