if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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