She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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