When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Two words: blizzard sex
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
