just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
