her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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