Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Pants are for mortals
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
