five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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