the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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