Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
