sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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