3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize