Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
