Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
