my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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