"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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