So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
