I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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