There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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