I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
