oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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