Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
