She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
